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What are some ways that can help in finding a suitable match when arranging the marriage of our children?

Hadrat Khalifatul-Masih IV rta explained that marriages between cousins and distant relatives are one solution because the boys and the girls would get to know each other even before they come into maturity. Thus, there is a natural affinity. Many times we observe that young children are naturally attracted towards members of the opposite gender, not on the basis of sexual differences, but on the basis of natural affinity. In this way matches can be made even before the age of maturity (Question Answer Session, March 10, 1996).

This type of match-making can also work among family friends in the Jama‘at. Obviously, teenagers and adults cannot socialize between genders, but children do play together. From this time one can begin to observe which children have a natural affinity with one another. Then when they grow into adulthood and start searching for a spouse, their childhood playmates may be suitable matches they already are inclined towards.

The system of arranged marriage works best when we arrange marriages within our social circle. If a young man sees that one of his friends might be compatible with his sister, he shouldn’t feel it a taboo to suggest that they consider one another. After all, he knows his friend and his sister best and he can give sincere and reliable advice to both about their qualities. Similarly, when we are close friends with someone, we naturally come to know about their family as well. If a young man is looking for a spouse and he knows that his friend has a sister who is single, he shouldn’t feel it a taboo to ask about her or have someone in his family ask about her.

Updated on January 4, 2019

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